Sunday, August 22, 2010

"Mean Girls" grow up

This is a very difficult blog post to write. I am sure somehow that there is a lesson to be learned by this experience.

As I write, my daughter is in her room preparing for her first day of high school. A day that is clouded by emotional turmoil caused by a woman who believes it is her place to pass judgement on those she does not know. As if high school isn't hard enough for those poor kids actually going through it. It seems some never lose the mentality they developed there.

The baggage from these 4 years, stay with us forever. For me, there is a self consciousness about my nose brought on from comment by a boy that I didn't even like. There is also a feeling that people forget about me when I leave the room, because my soccer team 'forgot' to tell me about the team dinner (let's not analyze this episode and my tiara). ..Then there is a mistrust of women...yes... because of the snide comments and giggles directed at me ..not even behind my back.

Now, I don't pretend to think I was the only one to endure this rediculousness - Most of us have.

I have had more than one man ask me "why are women so mean to each other, you would think they would support each other." Why? because we learned not to trust them. It is a strange dicotomy, because we also learned to have deep and abiding friendships.

With the on set of social networking, I have reconnected with many people from HS. I have picked up with my best friend like no time has passed. I have developed a friendship with the woman that I always liked, but we were never in the same circles. I have had the pleasure of reconnecting with the boy that was voted most likely to succeed...this boy...if I thought I had it rough...My experience was NOTHING compared to what he had to have endured. I am thrilled whenever I read his posts..he is happy with great friends...and is still completely true to himself - I always hope that I was never on the hurting end of things with him.

It seems we don't outgrow it. Look around any organization - work, the PTA, the booster club, they are all there:
The golden boy who can do no wrong in the eyes of the boss, or we all agree with, stupid grins plastered on our faces.

The over achieving star of the show who appears to be screaming 'look at me' with every move.

The Nerd who we wonder how they every manage to NEVER learn social skills.

The Mean Girls who treat everyone like their assistant or like to point out your short-comings before anyone can notice theirs.

For me it is time to make it stop - Time to stop walking with my head down until they pass.

If we don't outgrow it...will we take it to the retirement home?...just in case, I'm going to save my pennies to buy a red scooter to drive to the bocci ball game.

2 comments :

  1. High school was the most mean place for me, as well. My dad and I, just this weekend, were reminiscing about how hard high school was for me. I really hope The Princess doesn't have as hard a time as we both had. But I do know that even if she does, she has a role model as lovely as you to get her through it and to become an amazing woman herself.

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  2. She is already so much stronger than I am about these things. I wonder how much of the drama is brought on by Mama Drama based on our own unresolved issues. ...which the initial issue I mention...it is

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