Thursday, January 24, 2013

It Takes Two, Baby

I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships lately.  Long-term relationships, Short-term relationships (AKA my love life), business relationships – and even those really short term relationships in the form retail transactions.

The customer-service, social sector will tell you to be nice, listen, be aware to build relationships with our customers…and yes we should all do that – our cash flow depends on it.

We should also be aware that when we are on the consumer end of things that we participate in the relationship too.  I have come to the realization that getting crappy service when I am in a bad mood isn’t necessarily a coincidence. I probably did not inspire that cashier to smile and offer me a cookie, with my surly PMS attitude.  (though a cookie might have helped…keep giving cookies)

When a relationship fails to thrive is it totally the other guy’s fault?  If you came home, handed over your paycheck and did nothing more to nurture your relationship…I would say that marriage is doomed to fail. I’ll be the first to admit there can be a level of sanctimonious joy in playing the “I gave everything” martyr. …but what does that get you?  A spot on the fainting couch?  That spot can be passive aggressively comfy, but is a long-term path to emotional or financial bankruptcy.

He isn’t talking! She doesn’t fulfill my needs! – ask yourself, are you talking and fulfilling? Are you reaching out? Are you making an attempt to build a relationship?   Are you making the other guy read your mind so that you can be the wounded party when the relationship YOU failed to build collapses?

It takes two, Buttercup! Are you doing your part?


  1. O.K. I get it to this point. Hoping you will follow up with a common-sense protocol for dealing with the guilt that commonly happens after a break-up; the feeling of loss & hopelessness, and the wondering if you really did all you should have.

  2. I think most of us know when we have done all we can do...most...there are those who will never see it. But this occurs mostly in personal relationships.

    Its those other types of relationships that I feel people tend to drop the ball. ...but a follow up post is a good idea.